The dynamics of the impact also affect the kinetic energy transfer. Remember, you don't just "lose" energy, it's translated into other forms of energy, other vectors, etc.
If the two bodies hit pretty much directly, then much of the "lost" orbital energy would be used up in melting, shattering and vaporizing the structures of the bodies. If the collision path would have only a half or a quarter of one of the bodies intersecting the other, less kinetic energy is used up in vaporization and the resulting debris' orbits are altered less than in a direct impact. If only a very small physical interaction occurs (i.e., if an antenna on one vehicle snags an antenna on the other vehicle), the two bodies will still break up (especially if the "just barely" contact comes at 11 km/sec!), but they'll break up due to the extreme rotational rates imparted by the "brush-by". This last scenario changes the orbits of the resulting debris the least.
I don't know if our "security assets" are able to image satellites at 800km range well enough to characterize the resulting debris from the Cosmos-Iridium collision, but the extent of debris and its orbital characteristics (as tracked by radar) ought to give us some idea as to how direct a hit they endured.
-the other Doug